Wiggle Our Toes

One of my vision issues is that I don’t like to read. Now, I thought I did like to read. But it turns out it makes my eyes hurt, and I skip over words. I try to get the gist of what I am reading without reading all of it. And if I go back and read every word, I am likely to tangle up the letters and mis-read it anyway. The whole thing is a chore and a nightmare for me. 

I have learned that I love listening to books on Audible. I mean, I love books. I love stories. I love learning things. And Audible works for me so well. I can be washing the dishes, keeping my hands busy, and read a book. I have listened to books while I take a road trip from the east coast to the mid-west. 

Recently, I have been listening to a book on Audible.com called “A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD,” by Sari Solden MS and Michelle Frank, PsyD. 

Yes, I have ADHD too, because of course I do. I didn’t have enough initials of things I have with C-PTSD, PTSD, Afib and SVT. Sigh. 

Today, she brought up Proprioception. My ears perked up. My mind was wandering during part of the book, because it does this. Thank you, ADHD. 

The authors talked about how people with ADHD are distant from their body, not paying attention to things. Constantly distracted. And how bringing them back to a sense of their body by working on proprioception can bring them awareness and help them focus. Be here now. 

The author gave us an exercise that started with wiggling our toes. I was driving my car. A friend of mine taught me to use my cruise control on long drives. And I had it going. And I was able to wiggle my toes as I listened to the author and as I drove through the Shenandoah Mountains. 

She said we should bring awareness to our toes. Feel ourselves down there, in our toes. I am not there yet, feeling like I exist down there in my toes. But it was sure worth a try. I definitely feel like I am in my head, my brain, all the time. I excessively think and overthink everything. I can’t shut it off. It’s constantly going and going and switching topics and losing focus and hyper focusing. It’s exhausting. 

But I wiggled my toes. She said to move up to our body and move our ankles. I was wiggling my toes and moving my ankles. And my ankles got tired. As a former ballerina, I was sad to realize how tired my ankles got from minimal movement. I have some work to do. 

She had the reader move on up their body to their knees, thighs, hips and shoulders and neck …. And I was still just trying to wiggle my toes and feel an awareness of myself down there. 

I like the idea that I can practice proprioception in this new way, and I wanted to share it. I will never be a circus acrobat. But hopefully as I approach my 50s, I will get more fit and more aware of my body than I have been. 

My son tells me that if we used to be athletic, our body remembers how to do it, so it comes back easily. I am hoping this is true for me. I’ll let you know how it goes.